PR flacks make $1,400 a week to botch social media efforts

by user , Citizen journalist

The Willamette Week reported earlier this year that the average salary of 94 public relation “flacks” with eight agencies, including the City of Portland, Multnomah County, Metro, TriMet, Portland State University, the Port of Portland, Oregon Health and Science University and the Portland Public Schools, is $74,318.

The group of 94 employees are thought to be very upset at the new BookFace timeline changes, where they spend most of their time. “It’s really upsetting,” says one flack with the County who was just getting to know BookFace after his kids taught him how to navigate the social media site because no one in his bureau had a clue about what is was.

“Now, BookFace changes the format to this thing called a timeline. I’m totally confused. I miss the days when we could just put together a press release and fax it to the Oregonian and they would run it.”

Even more upsetting is that one group can’t figure out how to control their institution’s message on Twitter. “No one will follow us back, and only a few of us get the whole 140 character thing. It’s exhausting.”

“After collecting more than $1,400 a week,” one spokesperson said, “our employees in the public relations department are having a hard time responding to reporters after spending so much time on social media sites. Does SR know what Pinterest is?”

“We’re going to need to hammer out  a pay raise if bureau directors ask us to go on this thing called Instagram. People are still unclear about how BookFace relates to Tumbr and how Instragram is connected to Twitter, and if Pinterest is just a fad, or if anyone is still actually using Linked In.

“People are extremely frustrated,” says one flack, “while frantically searching for a number on his flip phone. I just want a drink, and some time with my kids at my space.”

Street Roots produces an annual satirical edition of the newspaper each year on April 1. Support your local neighborhood vendor today and have a laugh on us.

2 responses to “PR flacks make $1,400 a week to botch social media efforts

  1. Can I just point out how annoying and stupid it is to be rolling out your April Fool’s Day stuff more than a week later?

  2. Ouch. So pointed and testy Not a Fool. Sorry we didn’t meet your standards this week. Maybe you could start leaving comments the other 25 editions of the paper on issues that matter…

    — Israel Bayer

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