April Fools: WW, Mercury, KGW, Oregonian cover Street Roots and homelessness

From the April 1 edition of Street Roots. (The April Fools edition was one of the most popular Street Roots ever published. We sold out of the newspaper in a week and ordered more. It’s on the streets for two more days – get your copy while it’s hot!)

– A Willamette Week intern asked Street Roots this week if money provided by the city of Portland for the Rose City Resource Guide is in fact being channeled to the mostly volunteer editorial board as a payoff. Questions arose after Street Roots claimed it could help facilitate communication among more than 350 social-service agencies and people experiencing poverty. The paper reported that Street Roots had in fact, “Sit. Lied. Rolled over. And fetched” for the payoff from City Hall.

– The Portland Mercury has decided to cover issues of poverty and homelessness without doing research on the subject for one-year. Mercury reporters told inquiring minds on their company blog that they are working circles around the Street Roots staff. One reporter blames Street Roots for not “manning up” and covering the issues he thinks the paper should be covering. “Why aren’t they just printing our stories on the front page?” he asked reporters.

– The Oregonian called to verify that homeless people are still, in fact, homeless.

– The Portland Monthly has decided to profile the Top Ten Reasons Why no one really gives a crap what the Portland Monthly says about the economy. Coming in at No. 1 was, “No one really does give a crap about what we say about the economy.”

– KGW decided to air a special about how homeless people living out on the streets actually get wet during the rainy season. In an early morning investigative report, KGW found that 14 out of the 14 individuals they interviewed who had slept outside during Rainstorm 2009 actually woke up wet and miserable.

– Several neighborhood newspapers have reported a homeless invasion of neighborhoods. One neighborhood leader told the Portland Sentinel that if any public housing was built in the area, they would post videos on YouTube of neighborhood activists ripping the hearts out of poor people at a public event. Editorials from various neighborhood newspapers agreed, after brokering a deal for sponsoring the event in exchange for three months of advertising. Various musicians around Portland agreed to play the YouTube event, saying, “We owe this to ourselves; we’re poor too.” Microbrews from local breweries and restaurants will be available at the event. Children and pets are welcome.

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